Officer Hoggbutt Reports

      "While on routine night patrol along a deserted highway in northeast Georgia, Officer B. F. Hoggbutt observed a red GMC Jimmy scraping along the shoulder at approximately 15 miles per hour. On closer inspection, the passenger compartment seemed to be filled with a blue foamy-gelatinous substance unknown to the Officer, apparently obscuring the driver's line of view."

     "Considering this just and probable cause Officer Hoggbutt cautiously maneuvered said red vehicle to a stop notifying the driver to 'step out , and take your hands out of your pockets.'  Dense viscous slime oozed out thru the open door and sank immediately into big puddles adhering strongly to the Officer's patrol boots.  Opaque green light radiated from the interior.  On closer inspection, Officer Hoggbutt noticed a luminescent object dangling from the rear view mirror:  Brand name Cylume. Remove protective wrapper, bend tube until it snaps, then shake.

     "Evidently, you've been trolling luminous lures night fishing for Broadbill in Kenya?" quaked Officer Hoggbutt.  As the detainee eased off the shoulder and scampered into the tall grass.

Title:          © Road Squiggles.  r0760-38
Series:        None of the Above
Location:     Us 58, Southampton County, Va.
Date:          Friday 18 November 1994