Mother passed away today. She was a typical country mom working 24-7 to keep her family fed, washed, and cared for when sick. Her husband and two sons took her totally for granted and seldom expressed much gratitude for her uncompromising love and devotion. I explain my collusion by saying, as the youngest son, I learned that behavior from others. Denial runs deep. In later life I tried to make amends, but it could never be enough.
She was eighty-nine.
Title: © Indestructible Heart. d060113-014
Series: None of the Above
Location: Stone Mountain Park
DeKalb County, Georgia
Date: Friday 13 January 2006
No point in blaming yourself. Life would be much easier if we were just kicked out of the next like young birds. But we're not, we're an ungainly creature, not fit to support ourselves until long after the familiarity of our parents breeds contempt.
My condolences, and I hope that you are now as free of this angst as she is today. It's tough to lose your mother.
Posted by: rankin' rob | 07 February 2006 at 09:10 PM
Your loss is at once completely unique and completely universal.
Don't let the guilt overpower the pride you should feel at the son she raised.
Posted by: Jack Straw | 08 February 2006 at 06:50 PM
I am sorry to hear of the passing of a loved one.
These words have given me comfort in the past and maybe they will do the same for you.
Do not stand by my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am a diamond glint on the snow
I am the sunlight on ripended grain
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight
I am the soft starshine at night
Do not stand by my grave and cry
I am not there... I did not die.
- Anonymous
Posted by: foxdog | 09 February 2006 at 07:24 AM
I am so sorry for your loss, and for your pain.
Posted by: wesleyjeanne | 14 February 2006 at 02:35 PM
Roy:
I'm sorry about your loss.
Regarding your comments...I have a few ungrateful kids myself. Maybe they'll grow out of it, maybe not. My point is, as a parent, I don't hold it against them, and I wouldn't want them feeling guilty about it.
Hang in there and let me know if I can do anything.
-Chris
Posted by: Chris Wilson | 14 February 2006 at 10:59 PM
Doctor Flowers: if you're amazing and wonderful over the internet, in person you must be something else. Deep condolences to you and yours at this time. Your mother had 89 years to realize how special you are as a person, knowing that you were the result of her love and effort and molding. I'm sure her pride lives on just as she is with you, always.
Posted by: Vermont Neighbor | 28 February 2006 at 10:53 PM