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It's a tough night ahead for volunteers painting up yard signs and campaign materials. Essentially, a conspiracy is underway by the vast left-wing liberal media to destroy our very own Doctor Flowers' reputation.

Sugar Maple.

Leave it to the jaded journos at the New York Times to create a wholly preposterous and slanted version of Doctor Flowers' Sugar Maple.

Sugar Maple, they say, spends a great deal of time near the bedroom. Sugar is bighearted (click! picture). Sordid goings on they say as Sugar sways, dances, warms up, cools down, lifts and bends in ways the New York Times will never understand. As per usual, they're only out to sell a scandal, push a copy or grab a quarter from an unsuspecting reader.

This, fellow voters, is why Doctor Flowers is choosing to stay behind the camera rather than step in front of it. The glare, flash and pop. News mics and unforgiving questions. And Doctor Flowers battling endless slanted stories about Sugar Maple. Faithful and bighearted to the end, she's more than a person. She's a force of nature. But the NYT will likely never understand. And one thing's for certain. It's definitely winter in America.

But Doc,
You're the only guy who can beat Barack Obama.

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